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vitoal125

A quick joke

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i've got one from germany: a bundeswehr recruit is standing beside a barrack and puts his hands in his pockets. a Feldwebel appears and asks him:

"are you afraid of squirrels??"

the recruit: "nope."

"then get your hands off the nuts soldier!!"

i know this one with a different ending, too.

"is today your birthday?"

"nope."

"then get your hands off the candle recruit!!!"

hmm may be not funny through my translation, but it's quite funny though. smile.gif

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Aculaud @ Sep. 03 2002,10:29)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Never heard of the pj's. Who are they?<span id='postcolor'>

Airforce Pararescue Jumpers

Blackhawk Down The Movie totally left them out, but two of them were with the CSAR team that went into the first crash site. My favourite quote about them is something to the effect that they were 'shake and bake commandos' because the PJ course is considered as taking a shortcut into the socom community (At least by the D Boys)

smile.gif

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (E6Hotel @ Sep. 02 2002,23:58)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Just my opinion, from bottom to the top:

Army Infantry

Army Airborne

Marine Infantry

Rangers / Marine Battalion Recon

Force Recon

Special Forces / SEAL teams / possibly P.J.'s?

Delta / Dev Group<span id='postcolor'>

If the airborne have anything going for them it's balls! Brains is a different matter. tounge.gif

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Tovarish @ Sep. 04 2002,17:33)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">oops wrong thread<span id='postcolor'>

WTF?confused.gif?? biggrin.giftounge.gif

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Here a few I have seen at a website funnymail.com:

24 Important Rules Of Combat

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

2. Incoming fire has the right of way.

3. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

4. The easy way is always mine.

5. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

6. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are

dangerous.

7. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: 1. When

you're ready for them. 2. When you're not ready for them.

8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to

shoot at.

9. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

10. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

11. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

12. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is

incoming friendly fire.

13. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

14. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

15. When in doubt empty the magazine.

16. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

17. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.

18. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

19. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

20. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to

think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to

survive.

21. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't

ever volunteer to do anything.

22. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too

small.

23. Five second fuses only last three seconds.

24. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area

you just bombed

____

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</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (runningmovies @ Sep. 05 2002,20:03)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Here a few I have seen at a website funnymail.com:

24 Important Rules Of Combat

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

2. Incoming fire has the right of way.

3. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

4. The easy way is always mine.

5. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

6. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are

dangerous.

7. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: 1. When

you're ready for them. 2. When you're not ready for them.

8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to

shoot at.

9. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

10. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

11. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

12. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is

incoming friendly fire.

13. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

14. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

15. When in doubt empty the magazine.

16. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

17. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.

18. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

19. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

20. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to

think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to

survive.

21. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't

ever volunteer to do anything.

22. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too

small.

23. Five second fuses only last three seconds.

24. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area

you just bombed

____<span id='postcolor'>

They look like Murphy's laws.

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