Military Humor

[el Gringo Loco]

This thread was one of the best threads on the board some 6 months ago. Please all you guys help me to rebuild it. This is the place to put all your military stupidy events and have a good laugh.

Title: How the fuck do we know, we're artillery

My mate and I were driving back to our little camp on Mt. Igman after we had collected our mail from the english army base camp on Mt. Igman. After a while we saw a english woman soldier waving to us from the side of the road gesturing us to stop. So we stopped and asked her what the problem was. She told us that she had only become shortly the driver of a mobile crane unit and she could use some help because she had to pick up a prefab from the side of the road and load on the back of her truck. She asked if we could check if she had enough clearance when she picked up the prefab.

Corteous and always ready to please a lady we said yeah, no problem. So we parked our Benz and took in some strategical observation points along the prefab. Maybe you don't know, but a mobile crane has so-called "side stabilisation arms" which prevent the crane from tipping over when they crane loads sideways. We didn't notice that she forgot to deploy them (hey what you expect, we're artillery we know cannons not mobile cranes) So the girl started lifting the prefab, when it was half ways in the air everything went pear-shaped. The crane start to tilt to one side and gained momentum. It was all too late then, the prefab crashed to the ground and the mobile crane came to rest against it.

My mate and I were pissing our pants from the laughter and wished the girl (which was crying by now) much luck in explaining this little mishap to her CO. After taking a picture we went up the mountain with the mail and a very good story to tell.

[el Gringo Loco]

Ok, another one to get this thread going again

Burning garbage, the stupid way

When we had our camp in the hills of Mt. Igman in Bosnia we had to dispose of our garbage. So we saved everything for a week and then torched it with some gasoline. There seem to be always some people (potential pyromaniacs) who have the idea that everything can be done quicker and more efficient. So we also had a guy in my unit who thought the same. One day my mate was appointed to burn the garbage. So he threw some gasoline over it and lighted it. Everything went well. He was poking with a little stick in the fire (you know how little children get when they are around a controlled fire) and was generally having a good time. Then a sergeant came along and thought that everything could go a lot quicker when you thought more efficient.

A second after I took the picture I was running for the fire extinghuiser to put out my mate's trousers. Luckily it ended with only some minor burns to the leg. But if you see where my mate had his face when the gulp of gasoline was applied to the fire you could imagine that it could end a hell lot worse. I rapported the sergeant to my CO for negliance and he was fined and reprimanded.


Note the gulp of gasoline coming from the jerrycan and the position were my mate has his face. Unbelievable how stupid people can get

[Hilandor]

hahaha class min lol.

Not much happened to me when i was a weekend warrior with Royal Artillery, but i mind one day we had to be at the TA base on a friday night for an exercise deployment early on saturday morning, we were told we were getting helicopter deployment which we were all excited as being a weekend soldier u rarely got to do such things. So heading up in the 4 tonner to the exercise area we got all excited, thinking "woohoo, never been in a helicopter.
As we approached the exercise area and pulled to a stop, the CO came to the back of the wagon and asked if we were all ready for our helicopter deployment and excitedly we shouted YES SIR.

On that note we were told to jump out the back of the 4 tonner with crossed arms as if wearing a parachute, which we thot "mm strange" so we did, only to be told as we landed on the ground in fake rolls etc that this was the helicopter deployment being weekend soldiers they coudlnt justify a real helicopter and had to pretend =[[[ so our 4 tonner was the chopper. Gutted i beleive was a word that came to mind after all the excitement we anticipated. =[[[

funny looking back on it and picturing 20 soldiers rolling on ground as if landed with parachute from a height of 6 feet out the back of the wagon

[el Gringo Loco]

Ok a little game: Spot the ten differences

My bunk back at the base, and my bunk in the fields. sorry no prizes to win

[Cymru]

um

[KingBeast]

Ah I dont have anything really to add, but I remember this thread fondly from back in the day, and I especially remember the crane story
lol Hilly I can imagine how gutted you must have been, jumpin out the back of a lorry rofl

[Charlie_McSheenie]

Yeah, i remember that thread some classic stories there. I liked no one's (as in the person) stories the best, always with an air of seriousness with them but still really funny

[DarkLight]

Aaaaaaaaah, it's good to see this post again, i especially remember the one with that bald guy on the pic and the fire. Great stories,lets try to keep this post alive!!!
I had great fun reading them 6 months ago...
Good job reposting some of them L24A !

[GrimCalavera]

Oki I heard this one from my fathers brother, who was an recon/ranger in Finnish army during the start of 1980.
So there was an big fieldtraining going on and my father's bro
had to dig a hole on the ground with few of his palls, camouflaging it with leafes and other's natural sources.

Ok at this time Finland sucked the Soviet Unions ass and let some of the red armies big bosses come over the field to observe. These commies were told to find my father's bro's and his inc.'s hide position. One commie just walked around the field and stopped to pee. Guess who was receiving this "golden-shower" on their shoulders...

Commie pissing at finnish ranger is one thing that could start the third world war.

[Scooby]

I wonder how big tents are often used in other countries. In Finland we've basically got these two tents.

pictures not taken by me, just searched from internet.


At right you can see smaller tent and at left you can see bigger "half platoon tent".




Picture of smaller tent.


Most often idea is to fit about 15 men into that bigger tent and about 10 into smaller tent. Gets bit tight. Doesnt look as comfortable from inside as in one of which L24A posted picture about. Needless to say we used those smaller tents more often than bigger tents.