Chernarussian bigfoot/yeti

I wanted to report my sighting of the elusive Chernarussian yeti. I'm an ARMA cryptozoologist who has been stalking the northern highlands of Chernarus, in search of this mythical beast, for an entire one month of my life. And tonight, I met my quarry! :cool:

I was near the Black Lake at the north-west corner of the map, south of Olsha. I had a squad of five men with me, and we were trying to encircle a position we believed enemy troops were holding. Suddenly, a grenade clunked at my feet... but I realized it wasn't a grenade, it was a rock! Odd, I thought, then... CLUNK! Another rock came and hit me straight in the face! I radioed #2 to flank right and circle around the trees. He stalked through the woods silently... Then I hear his voice crack over the radio (Teamspeak):

2: "WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT IS THAT?!"

1: "What's wrong?!"

2: "Z0mG4Wd!!11!!!1one!!!"

*roars of the yeti*

2: "HELP ME!!!"

I sprinted around to help #2, having no idea what was going on. I arrived at #2's last known location just in time to see him being carried by a large, hairy beast: the Chernarussian yeti! I shot the beast three times before he slipped away into the trees with #2 under his arm like a sack of potatoes. But the shots didn't phase him. We searched the area and found some footprints and a few tufts of hair, and there was also a thick, blackish-red blood trail. We followed it for about three miles, but it was no use... #2 and the yeti were gone, never to be see again!

I'd like to have a moment of silence in honor of #2. His name was Wesley Grabowski... a kind and funny 42-year-old who lived with his mother and eight cats. Unfortunately, I had to go to New Jersey and deliver Mrs.Grabowski an American flag and grim news... hardest damn thing I've ever done. R.I.P. Wesley! Semper Fidelis, soldier! :cryy:

Many will claim the Chernarussian yeti is a mere myth. But they are simply ignoring the overwhelming body of evidence to its existence! Skeptics will claim that it's impossible for the creature to really exist, because they've combed the ARMA content files and found no model or texture for the yeti. But several cryptozoologists, like myself, have offered compelling rebuttals.

One theory states that the yeti's mesh and texture files are simply well-concealed, in a place only the ARMA gods of BI (programmers) know. This theory is quite plausible. The files could be embedded (and even encrypted) within the executable's binary.

Another theory suggests that the yeti is actually made up of several different mesh/LODs which are cleverly molded together at runtime, spawning the mysterious creature which stalks the northern woodlands.

A more radical, ARMA fundamentalist theory says this... In the early days, the ARMA gods said "Let there be light!" -- and then there were shaders which created light. Then they said "Let there be beasts of the field and birds of the air!", then artists came from the studio and created their meshes and textures... and into them the gods breathed life with C++. And finally, they said "Let there be yetis!"... and the yetis simply were...

But my theory is a bit different... I believe that there are no mesh or texture files for the yeti! Unlike all other content of ARMA, the yeti simply has no files. Instead, the yeti's data is all store in char arrays within the original source code, and is built right into the game. This ensured no one could ever stumble upon the birthplace of the yetis. It could only be seen with a disassembler, and even then would only appear to be random bytes of memory for some unknown purpose.

The one thing any sane person can agree upon is that the Chernarussian yeti is definitely real! What are your yeti sighting stories and theories? :D

Sadly, Chernarus is about ArmA2 and not ArmA.

Not only that, there also already is an "I found bigfoot" thread:

http://forums.bistudio.com/showthread.php?t=73725&highlight=bigfoot